My Open Letter To Their AWESOME Father …

Dear Alphonso, 

Today is Father’s Day and yes, it is the day when the world honors you and every other awesome father, but there’s just so much that sets you apart from the world, which is why I try to honor you almost every day for the father you are to our children. Some may feel that it’s just your responsibility and that you are not doing anything more than any other father is supposed to do, but I beg to differ. You not only do what is expected of a father for your own children, but you do even more for so many other children through your mentoring, and overall investment in the children you serve every day. On a daily basis our children share you with so many others as you mentor and pour into hundreds of other children.

Many times you are helping to provide guidance to another fatherless child who needs a father figure, helping a parent fill out college applications for their child, stepping in as an advocate for someone else’s son, providing financial assistance for a child to have an experience they wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford, speaking at high school commencements, helping to move children into their dorm rooms, answering the phone when there is an issue with someone’s child, being a role model to so many, instilling in them that “They’re Great”, or simply serving as the Principal of challenging places of education. Yes, our children share you with so many, but you seamlessly do it all for everyone else and still find a way to keep the title of “THE BEST FATHER ON THIS SIDE OF HEAVEN” when it comes to your own children. You are like SUPER DAD and for that I say thank you. 

As a Black father, who unfortunately was never given the opportunity to be raised by your own father you have defied the typical stenotypes of fatherless men not being great fathers because of their lack of experiences with their own father. You and I have talked about the effects of this many times, yet I have watched as you have overcompensated to ensure your children never have that testimony. In spite of your lack of a father, you are every princesses dream come true and the role model every young king deserves. Your children and other people’s children are blessed to have you. We all know that you constantly give credit and applaud the efforts of your grandfather and your uncles for stepping in and helping raise you to be the man you are, and on today I salute them as well. They have raised an awesome man and I salute them. The bottom line is that once again the village has done it. The village raised you and #TeamEvans is the recipient of that blessing. “When the village speaks, greatness has no other option but to come forth”. Your greatness has definitely come forth.  

Sometimes I just sit back and watch you parent the hell out of our children. I realize now that no matter if we always agree on the parenting style or not that it’s by far the most awesome time of my day. I enjoy watching you be dad. I marvel at your love and attentiveness toward every detail of their existence. I find it unbelievable how you will make a way out of no way and how the children and I go to sleep each night resting well because we depend on you and you have never let us down. At this age I realize how important family is and realize even more how important FATHERS are, not just to our individual families but also to our communities.  I could not imagine doing this journey of parenthood without you. I am in awe of how God took two people like us, who were reluctant to be parents, and had no clue on what to do with children, yet he blessed us beyond our own understanding and ability with 2 absolutely amazing children. You play such an important role in their lives, one that can only be filled by YOU. God knew just what he was doing when he sent me you. He knew that you would be my helpmate and my parenting partner and that no-one else could have ever filled that role the way you do. I thank God today for you and especially for directing our paths toward each other, because I can’t imagine anyone else that would have been a better father to my children than you. You became a father and you broke the mold. I know everyone believes their children’s fathers are the best and I never take a fools bet, but I will bet my last dime on the fact that there’s not a father in this world that can compare to you. And I know many amazing fathers, but none of them hold a candle to you in this department.

When I think about the purpose of Father’s Day and I think about honoring you I don’t even know where to begin, because nothing I could ever buy would ever demonstrate my love for the father you are to our children, but one thing I know I can give you is the honor you are due…

I Am So Grateful God Blessed Our Children With YOU!

  • You have instilled a strong work ethic into each of them.  You have shown them that hard work is a worthy pursuit and one that they honor you with today.  You have modeled faithfulness and perseverance.  You have instilled in them the importance of critical thinking and taught them to think for themselves.  You have challenged them to search for truth and check what they hear. You have encouraged them to think outside the box and to see that there is more than one angle to view things at.  You have given them a love for education, music, old tv shows, animals and excellence.
  • You give them the best gift anyone could ever give them by giving them your time. You have never compromised your time with them for anything or anyone, including your job and I commend you for that. You have set the tone of what that should look like in our household, even when I was so consumed by my job. You have made a point to always be the constant reminder of what really matters and to always keep work in its rightful place and I thank you for never letting up on me with the work thing. I’m finally listening J
  • You do all the things I suck at for our children such as: clean, cook them a good meal, make the Drs appointments, and remember the important dates. I am a great mom (I have to toot my own horn at some point) but Lord knows I am not great at everything and I am so glad you are here to make me look great even when it’s really you making it happen 🙂
  • You always find a way to pour into each one of them, from watching an episode of The Jefferson’s together to side line coaching at gymnastics competitions. 
  • You treat your daughter like the princess she is even though I believe she’s just a spoiled brat! I admire how she adores you. I love the fact that you buy her flowers every time you buy them for me and now, she expects them. I think it’s the cutest thing when she calls herself telling on me to you as if you are my boss. I absolutely crack up when she waits until you walk in the door to say she’s hungry, she’s hurt or she needs something, which makes me look like the bad mom. She knows exactly how a man should treat her by the way you treat her and that makes me so happy. Whoever pursues her in the future has big shoes to fill and that makes me confident of her future. 
  • You celebrate every milestone no matter how small or how big. No matter what is going on in our crazy lives you never miss a moment in their crazy lives. 
  • You preach and lecture them non-stop to the point where they just laugh at you now 🙂 , but every lecture is purposeful and appreciated. As the old folks at church say, they may not understand the significance now but “they will understand it better by and by”. 
  •  You demonstrate to them that it’s pure joy in serving God and that they can be unapologetic worshipers. 
  •  You serve as their greatest role model and the person they respect and look up to
  • You instill the benefits and expectation of academic excellence in them. You never let them come up short. You always preach education, hard work and excellence in all that they do. No matter what direction they choose in life I know they will do it with excellence because of you.
  • You pour into their dreams no matter the financial or time sacrifice that has to occur.
  • You provide them with experiences over things and they are the better for it
  • You show them your love for their mother which will teach our son how to treat a woman and teach our daughter how she should be treated by a man
  • You punish them and chastise with love. You don’t let them get away with anything but your chastising is always with love.
  • You affirm them and shower them with love EVERYDAY.
  • You provide for them like no other. No matter what you have to do or how hard you have to work they never have a worry in the world because they know “daddy got it”. They don’t understand the sacrifices right now but one thing they do understand is that they have an assurance that “Daddy got it”.

No, you are not the perfect parent but hell you sure come close and for that I say thank you!

On today, I pray that you will know how loved and appreciated you are.  That you will see how significant your role in their lives is and that you will always know your value and worth in our lives.  You are the epitome of the purpose behind Father’s Day and I honor you today.

With Love,


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